


Without You Is How I Disappear

by royalreddeath



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Mid-Canon, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-03 07:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17279423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royalreddeath/pseuds/royalreddeath
Summary: Another prompt from tumblr, "I wish I'd never met you."Plot leading to Lea and Isa's death.





	1. Chapter 1

“We’re gonna die, aren’t we?”

“I don’t know, Lea.”

“Could you just tell me it’ll be okay for once? Just be a good friend here.”

“You’re really saying that now?”

“Yeah. Why won’t you just say we’re not going to die?”

“Because we are, Lea. You know we are, I know we are, don’t bother acting like we’re not.”

“I know that, Isa! You think I don’t? I just want to hear my best friend say we aren’t going to.”

“Fine. You won’t die.”

“You won’t either.”

“If it comes down to it and one of us lives, it’s gotta be you.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Just accept it.”

“I wish I’d never met you.”

Words hit like knives into Isa’s chest, the idea of Lea wanting that for any reason hurt him more than he could have ever imagined being hurt. “I see.”

“No you don’t. You never know anything.”

“Excuse me?”

“Neither of us do! We’re stupid as hell!”

Words like the would’ve normally made Isa crack a smile, gentle insults that they gave each other were a comfort even in times of stress. But this was too stressful. Lea knew that. Each beat of his heart left his chest hurting more than before. Terror spoke in volumes he couldn’t hold properly.

“Now is not the time for this, Lea. You’re not making either of us feel better. Maybe you should just stop talking so I can try to figure out a way to get… us out.”

“Alright, fine. You better be getting you out in those plans, though. If you don’t include yourself, I’m killing you myself.”

“That wouldn’t help what you want at all.”

“Things don’t have to make sense, I’m going to fight every last one of these guys so we can live.”

“Weren’t you just saying we’re gonna die?”

“Not with you agreeing with that and trying to plan some way for you to die and me to live. I’m not letting you go out like that. We go out together or not at all, got it memorized?”

The line was normally one that Isa would roll his eyes at but find otherwise endearing, this time, with all the frustration consuming him along with the pain from the words spoken earlier… Isa couldn’t just keep his irritation with Lea inside. “Would you just shut up?”

“Fine.”

The two sat in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time, Lea staring off into the middle distance and Isa at his own feet. Both of them were terrified, they knew terrible experiments had been happening even more often with the newest apprentice Ansem had taken on. Then the king had disappeared.

Radiant Garden was swarming with creatures once again, but everyone knew in their hearts where they’d come from. Hopefully all it was was mistakes and not something more. 

Lea moved closer to Isa, grabbing his best friend’s hand tightly. They’d seen things they weren’t supposed to see, having gotten further into the castle than ever before.

“It was supposed to be our last time anyways. Guess we really don’t have a choice,” Lea half-joked, no joy in his eyes. “We were going straight-laced after this! You think they’d listen to us if we say we won’t tell anyone anything?”

“No.”

“We don’t have to say anything about how scary it is in here.”

“How do you think they get people, Lea?”

“Uh?”

“Never mind. It doesn’t matter.” Isa tugged his hand away from Lea only to realize it was better to hold on for as long as he could. Pride wouldn’t let him reach out for Lea’s hand again, not so soon after he removed it from Lea’s grip. “I’ll get you out of this, I’m working on a plan.”

Lea knew Isa well enough to hear the self-caused disappointment in his voice, gently taking Isa’s hand in both of his. 

“You gonna tell me what it is?”

“No.”

“If you don’t get out alive too, I don’t want in.”

“I’m not letting you ‘in,’ I’m making the plan and doing it by myself. So nothing gets messed up.”

“Are you saying I’m why our other plans got messed up?”

“Yes.”

“Wow, thanks, make me glad I’m your friend, why don’t you?” Words meant nothing as Lea leaned his head against Isa’s shoulder, clinging to his best friend’s hand. They were both quiet for a while, thinking up plans to save the other. One wouldn’t mind going out a hero, the other just wanted to give their friend a fighting chance.

Eventually, the door opened and both children sat up straighter, one of Lea’s hands moving away from Isa’s as if he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t allowed to do. A hand that wasn’t allowed in the cookie jar had to be moved before it made situations worse. 

“Hey, kiddos, got an outfit change for both of you. New uniforms because I feel like we’ve got some real promise from one of you.”

A single, yellow eye stared directly at Isa as Braig threw cloaks at the two terrified teens. Lea wanted to comment on the change in eye color, but he wasn’t sure if he was just misremembering. It’s not like he and Braig had staring contests that left the specific color the man had ingrained in his memory.

The cloaks that had been tossed at them were picked up, young hands touching the unfamiliar fabric. Neither of them wanting to do anything to make their chances of survival worse, so they didn’t look away from Braig for even a second. All Lea wanted to do was look over and make sure Isa was still alive as if just looking away would seal his fate, but Braig’s presence made him feel like they’d both die if they looked away for too long. 

Braig spoke again, “We’ll get you two clothes for under the cloaks too, can’t have you in that under this, won’t work like we need it to.”

Isa stood up and took in a deep breath as Lea continued to sit on the ground, holding the cloak much like a child would cling to a blanket. They weren’t dead yet, were they being recruited? For science? That would be ridiculous, they didn’t know nearly enough science. They’d never seen anyone wearing these cloaks. 

Did people they were experimenting on have to wear these cloaks? They seemed too bulky for that. Why did he have to have so many questions? Couldn’t his mind just stop asking things? Just shut up and do what was needed to survive?

“Do you want us to put these on?” Lea’s voice was miraculously steady as he asked.

“Whatever you want, if you think it’s easier than carrying it and putting it on after you change.”

“Why do we have to change?” Lea seemed to suddenly have his voice back, ready to bombard the only guard to ever ignore their break-ins with questions. He seemed like he was the best to talk to, as nonchalant as he was.

“I dunno, I’m not actually a scientist. You can ask one of them if you’re lucky enough to see ‘em before you forget you cared about that.”

“Okay. Thanks. Do you know why they’re different than what you’re wearing?”

“Yeah. Can’t tell you.” 

“Why not?”

“As if I’d tell you. It’s a secret you’ll have to figure out later. Think of it as a fun surprise.”

“We’re not gonna die, though?”

“Why would we be giving you cool clothes if you’re gonna die? Do we look like we’re here to kill people, kid?”

“You do,” Isa said, making direct eye contact before he held up the cloak to look at it. “We were planning on how to get out around you specifically, so don’t lie to us. Are we going to die?”

“You’ll be fine.”

Neither trusted the man, despite Lea liking him more than any of the other people in the castle because he always let them get away with more. That must have been why Isa didn’t seem to trust this at all. Braig never seemed to really care much before, but he was the one sent to fetch them? And why were they changing clothes? What was going to happen to them?

Lea grabbed for Isa’s hand again wanting some form of comfort as they walked into the unknown together. Unknown was better than certain death.   
Unknown had to be better than certain death...


	2. Chapter 2

Lea and Isa changed quickly, pulling on new boots then quickly zipping up the cloaks they’d been given. The idea of doing things slowly scared them both, completely sure that would do nothing but piss off their captors. At least they were left alone to change, giving them a few more moments to take comfort in the fact that they were together - that they could protect each other if it came down to it.

Lea still had it in his mind that he’d go out a hero, protecting Isa and making sure his best friend was safe.

Isa seemed to have a similar thing in mind based on the look on his face.

Braig barged in, having decided they’d had more than enough time to change. Lea tried to grab for Isa’s hand when the door opened, but Isa quickly pulled his hand away. Isa walked forward without waiting for Braig to speak, refusing to look at Lea again as he marched behind a bemused Braig. Something was wrong about Braig and the more he was around, the more Isa could feel it, he just didn’t know what it was.

“Where are we going?” Lea knew asking questions wasn’t exactly the best idea, but he at least wanted to know what made people disappear. “We know the king is gone, but we haven’t told anyone. We heard you mention it. We won’t snitch on you guys.”

“You know, I’d let you two off, but Xehanort really wants you two. You’ve got more spunk than anyone we’ve seen so far and we need to make sure something works. Prove it to the other guys that what we’re doing is what we need.”

Isa looked back at Lea for the first time since they started walking, visibly horrified by the sound of that. Lea normally loved watching Isa break his stone-faced demeanor, he’d do anything to see Isa make faces. Happy, annoyed, anything. But terror wasn’t good, even if it was brief.

They got to a walkway where they could see what looked like hundreds of containers, thousands? What were they? Hearts? Why did these people have containers like that? They’d both seen hearts before, but why were there containers of them here? The heartless didn’t seem to report to anything. 

Lea froze in his tracks to try to take it in, trying to figure out at least one answer to the many questions he was plaguing himself with. Terror was infectious and something was screaming it into both of the teens.

Lea once again tried to grab for Isa’s hand only for Isa to swat it away with a sharp smack. 

“Ouch. Isa, what the hell?”

“Shut up, Lea. You’re making it worse.”

“Aw, kids, you’re adorable. We’re here. Look sharp.”

Isa straightened up and looked towards a room they were approaching. Lea looked from the hearts to Isa to the room. Dread weighed heavy on Lea’s limbs, not sure how to move.

There was a man standing in the center of the room, one Lea and Isa both had seen before, but never caught the name of. He was new, was he the reason they were being taken like this? He had to be. Lea kept trying to make himself move, eventually getting help from Braig who pushed him forward into the room.

Lea could’ve sworn he heard Isa growl.

Braig walked towards the man they didn’t quite know, placing a hand on his shoulder and grinning. Was that Xehanort? They’d seen him before, but not nearly as much as the other apprentices. He was too new, hid himself too well.

“Ready to help us with some really important science?”

“I thought you said you didn’t do science?” Isa took Lea’s role of asking questions as Lea continued to stand there, useless. He wanted to be a hero. He wanted to keep Isa okay. He wanted Isa to not have to worry about dying. 

“Did I say that?”

“You did,” Isa snapped, grabbing for Lea’s sleeve. “What can we do to help?”

Lea looked up towards Isa’s face to try to figure out what his friend’s plan was. He couldn’t tell, this wasn’t a face he’d seen Isa make before.

Isa was angry, sure, Lea had seen that before, but not like this. He hadn’t meant to step behind Isa, but he did. It must have been something about Isa’s stance. Lea was terrified and Isa felt like he was in control of something, even if it wasn’t the situation at hand. Isa seemed to puff himself up even more and Lea hated himself instantly when he realized he was using his best friend as a shield.

And Isa was letting him.

“You can start by following me. You can leave your boyfriend here for now.”

Isa nodded and Lea grabbed his shoulder immediately. “Don’t. Isa, please.”

Lea was shrugged off sharply. Isa turned to look at him and mouthed, Get out. Go, before turning back and walking towards the man who had yet to speak. With Isa walking away from him, Lea again lost his ability to move, feet cemented to the ground as terror continued to seep into his already-overflowing heart. His hands were shaking as he tried to move to follow Isa with no success. He couldn’t help Isa, he couldn’t listen to Isa. He had become useless and it was making him angry at himself. 

Terror and anger mixed bitterly in his mouth, making it feel like it was stuffed with cotton. He was unable to speak, unable to walk, barely able to think. Lea knew he was better than this. Negative feelings couldn’t control him like this. Except they could and they were.

He managed to open his mouth for one more question, “What’s your name?”

“Irrelevant.” The man’s voice was deep and caused Lea to clench his hands into fists. He was shaking again, trying his best to make himself move. He wanted to move and help his friend who seemed to be accepting that he was dying for Lea. Lea was going to get Isa out of this, he was. He was. He was…

“Lea! Leave!” 

Shaken back to being present by Isa’s voice, Lea lunged forward to try to help his friend only to be caught by Braig. Being held in place while trying to get to Isa was worse than being stuck in place, he was fully aware of the fact that he was being forced to stay where he was. 

“You think you can leave? As if. We’ve got plans for both of you. But don’t worry, I’m thinking you won’t remember it well enough to be a real problem.”

Lea elbowed Braig to get away from him. To run forward to try to get to Isa. To help Isa. Isa.

The man holding Isa looked up and made eye contact with Lea for a brief moment. It didn’t seem like he had much behind his eyes. It was empty in there and catching even the slightest hint of that sent yet another wave of pure dread through Lea’s heart. This man was wrong. He wasn’t like Braig, he was just wrong.

Lea was certain he wasn’t hearing everything anymore, knowing Isa had to be saying something as he kicked at the man holding him.

Suddenly Braig was right next to Isa and his mouth was moving, but Lea had no idea what was being said. Words really weren’t making their way into his mind. Everything was garbled together, fear speaking louder than any creature ever could.

Braig grabbed Isa’s face and tilted it up and Lea immediately felt like the distance between him and his best friend increased by miles. Like his legs couldn’t go fast enough. He had no idea what was happening, but he needed it to stop. He needed to be where Isa was. He couldn’t hear anything and he couldn’t get anywhere.

And Isa had a knife pressed against his face very suddenly.

Suddenly he could hear again, but some kind of warping made it sound like Isa was too far away still. He was screaming and Lea couldn’t do anything about it. He was bleeding. His best friend was bleeding so much. Lea had never seen that much blood before. It made him sick. 

Before he could blink again, he was there, falling onto Isa and wrapping his arms around his best friend, his own chest heaving. He was sobbing, Isa was shaking, there was too much blood. Lea didn’t understand. 

Suddenly, he was pushed by shaky arms, undoubtedly trying to get him to run once more. Isa was still standing, blood dripping down his face. Lea had no idea where anyone was other than Isa. He was disoriented and being shoved around by his best friend who had blood mingling with his tears as the fresh wound continued to bleed.

With one last shove and a lurch forward, Isa tensed up and looked Lea dead in the eyes, his mouth moving to say something that Lea couldn’t catch as he looked at the heart escaping his best friend. He wanted to grab for it, shove it back into Isa. He didn’t understand the real concept of hearts, but he knew the shape and he knew what happened when someone fell to a heartless. 

And now he knew what it felt like to have someone standing in front of him, shielding him from something obviously meant for him. Lea backed up and tried to run, terrified and sick, but his legs gave out before any additional effort was put into his murder. Crumpled on the floor, he sobbed as he felt something pierce his chest.

He gasped, feeling familiar beating begin to move, freed from where it had been housed before. He was losing his heart? He couldn’t just let them kill both of them. He tried to take in one last breath, but felt himself crumbling. Disintegrating? Fading. He was fading. 

Shaking arms crumpled below him as he fell to the floor, reaching out to grab Isa’s hand before it faded even more. 

He’d somehow make it up to Isa. He might be dying, but he’d come back in his next life. He’d come back and… Save him.


End file.
